The key to hosting the perfect wedding, bar mitzvah or holiday party is inviting the right mix of friends, family, and co-workers to celebrate with you. Having to decide who gets invited and who gets left out can cause guilt, arguments between family members and many hurt feelings. How do you know where to draw the line between invited and excluded?

Take the stress out of these tough decisions by following our 4 Rules for Setting Your Private Event’s Guest List.

Rule 1: The Rule of Closest Friends

Having a lot of friends is great, but having to pick and choose which friends to invite to your event can be impossible. Your family may be part of dozens of social circles. How can you decide who gets invited and who gets left out?

Ask yourself three questions:

Have You Seen Him in The Last 5 years? Everyone is busy, but if you live in the same city as someone and you haven’t seen him in more than 5 years, is he really still your close friend?

Would You Call Her on a Trip? For a friend from out of town: When you’re in her city do you call her to have lunch? Does she call you when she comes into town?

Have You Ever Spent Time One-on-One? You may have dozens of friends that you are close with at cocktail parties, but have you ever gone out to lunch, just the two of you?

If the answer to any of these questions is “No”, he or she can safely be left off of your guest list.

Rule 2: The Rule of Plus Ones

Many of your guests will want to bring a guest of their own. Old school wedding event planners recommend a “No Ring, No Bring” policy, implying that if a guest isn’t married there is no need to provide them with a plus one. However, given how the length of courtship has extended over the past few decades there are many cases where “No Ring, No Bring” no longer makes sense.

In 2013 the rule of thumb is that a guest gets a plus one when you have already made the acquaintance of, or “heard so much about” her potential companion. If he’s a total stranger, feel free to leave him off of the guest list.

Rule 3: The Rule of “If Not for (Fill in The Blank)”

This rule is for coworkers and the parents of your children’s friends:

When considering adding a name to the guest list, ask yourself “If not for our children’s soccer games (or if the office were to close down tomorrow) would I ever see this person?”

If the answer is yes, invite them. If the answer is no, leave them out.

Rule 4: The Rule of Best Guests

This final rule can get a little tricky, but it could make or break your next event. When considering a borderline guest, try to picture her at your event. What kind of guest will she be? If you sit her at a table with strangers will she keep her head buried in her plate or will she have everyone talking and laughing? Will she be out on the dance floor or sitting on the sidelines?

If there’s a borderline guest that has the ability to really get the party going, extend her an invitation. He or she may be the x-factor that takes your private event from good to great.

Would you like more details about hosting your Wedding, Bar Mitzvah or Cocktail Reception at 583 Park Avenue? CONTACT US today. One of our event coordinators will be in touch with you shortly.